As I get older, life seems to get more complicated, but at the same time easier to deal with.
I remember having a conversation with someone I used to admire. Things were much harder then, than they are know and I was trying to figure out alot of what life was throwing at me.
Everything from devorce to career advice to a little pat on the back hoping that I was moving in the right direction.
The advice I got, was that everything comes with experience. Your ability to cope, deal or handle adversity comes from having experienced, experience.
You ever skidded in a car? Do you remember what happened the first time?
You probably mashed the breaks, locked up the wheels and left some skid marks on the pavement. Maybe you didn’t crash or maybe you did. Either way you learned what not to do for next time. Next time you’ll pump the breaks, ease up on the gas and come to a much less terrifying stop.
It’s the same thing with life. You have something bad happen, you emmediately respond with emotion and go over board because it’s a shock to the system. So you over react, throw a tantrum like a two yr old and feel ashamed or embarassed the next day.
When you deal with these moments attempt to take a productive step forward in your emotional response, making them less and less trivial. To the point where, one day something really jarring happens and you realize in the moment, you haven’t once felt like you’ve lost yourself in it.
It’s all about ecognizing behavioural patterns within yourself. Accepting them and trying to be aware that changing and manipulating them come from exposure to experience.
A soldier isn’t just capable of drowning out the sounds of war, they are taught, learned and drilled, making them better at handling it.
It’s very similar to personal development, the sounds, emotion and intensity can be overwhelming, heavily evident to the individual and distractingly loud.
When the earth moves and it feels like the world is coming down. Just take a breath, a moment and readjust the focus in your life.
It’s hard, but it’s worth the effort to stay in tune with yourself, your beliefs, your progress and your intent. The next time it seems like life is throwing curve balls. Find the still in the moment and ask yourself, what can I do to make this different?
Then take the actions necissary to make it so. Deal with the emotion of it after it’s been handled. Then go back and reasses your ability to navigate the experience. This is how you improve and become a better person.
It doesn’t happen over night, it takes many reps. It takes training and dedication. The same way a body builder sculpts their muscles or an athelete puts in their ten thousand hours. So get those reps in and remember everyone goes through the shit. It’s all in how you handle it. Each time you succeed you become a more capabale human for going through it.