Dodge challenger, Muscle car,Creative writing

Self CONFINDENCE or EGO? Probably a little of Column A and a little of Column B

This one time I had my work review and was informed by my supervisor, that I maybe, might have a big ego.

I’m not one to deny that I have an abundance of self confidence.  

Really… How much of that is ego though?  

After letting that digest for a moment or two.  I conceded that, yes I have to check my bravado.  

I get where the comment came from.

It’s something that, from the outside looking in, can be misconstrued as arrogance.  I get it.  

There is a fine line to walk when your confidant in your capabilities.  Offending people can come quickly and easily if your not regularly reassessing your interactions.

One thing that kind of had me stuck, was that, in general ego is the thing that gets in the way of an individual seeing the bigger picture and their effect on it.

Yes I am a bit Rambo-esque in my technique.  But I was never married to the ideas and concepts I put forth.  If there was a task that had to be completed, I would look for what I thought was the most efficient way to do that.  Then share the idea or concept with my coworkers and walk them through the steps.

When they didn’t complete or even attempt the idea, I would get frustrated and mad.  I would get emotionally involved to a certain extent.  Mostly because the ideas that I offered up came from years of trial and error on my part.

However when my ideas seemingly weren’t heard or acted on, I definitely got discouraged.  Being the senior operator, it made me feel like some of my comments should have held more weight.  At least in terms of attempting a portion of these suggestions.

Yet I always found myself going back to doing things in accordance with these coworkers because for whatever reason they could not or would not deviate from the daily routine they had settled into.  

Being the type to attempt to improve or affect the bigger picture, it’s very hard to watch ineffective repetition.

So I had to start asking myself.  Do I really have a big “ego” ?  

Maybe, but my willingness to receive, digest and apply criticism, suggests that, if that is the case I am able to keep it in check in order to achieve the collective goal.

The question I ultimately went back to my supervisor with was this…

If I offer a suggestion and map it out, prove the efficiency and show how it can be done.  When my counter parts attempt it, briefly or not at all.  Ultimately reverting back to the same old way and the improvement is never made, then who really has the big ego?

I stunned him, I think.  He didn’t say anything,  all he did was nod his head as if to say “Well played”.

The fact of the matter is, it’s OK to have an ego.  It’s OK to exercise it every now and then.  But understand that when you do, whether you are right or wrong.  It’s just an exercise in reaffirming that you know what you know and your only expected outcome should be personal development.

A mans car says alot about his personality!

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